Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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