please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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