Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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