he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
