some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
