i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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