you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
