I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
