I CAN MOONWALK!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
