Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
