you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
