Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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