3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
