Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
two words...techno handjob
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
