I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
