I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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