he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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