Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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