May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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