I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
