Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
