dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He shit in the fireplace
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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