hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
