bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
