Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
