was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
