The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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