I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
