we made out on top of his cat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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