maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
