worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize