Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
