Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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