guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
