so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
