honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
