I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
