what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
