my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
do herpes really smell.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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