..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
