Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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