I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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