The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What a dumb baby whore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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