Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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