Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
