Nicole vs. Life
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
