Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize