Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
