I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize