I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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