i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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