just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
