im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
