Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
