So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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