i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize