Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
